Quote Of The Day: Theo James On Love

Theo James got started in film and TV in 2010 and has since become one of the most recognizable British stars. His popularity exploded from roles in films such as “The Inbetweeners Movie” and the “Divergent” trilogy, as well as the action-horror series “Underworld.” His career has continued to grow in the last decade thanks to a handful of buzzy roles on TV series, including “The White Lotus,” one of the best shows streaming on HBO Max. He also starred in “The Time Traveler’s Wife” alongside Rose Leslie. 

The actor is currently the face of Netflix’s Guy Ritchie gangster series “The Gentlemen,” which was recently renewed for Season 3 ahead of the Season 2 premiere. He plays Eddie Horniman, the heir to a wealthy British estate who discovers that his late father had teamed up with a gang to run a secret marijuana farm. Season 2, which premieres on Thursday, September 3, will see Eddie dive deeper into the U.K.’s criminal underbelly. 

In addition to appearing on screen, James has also dabbled in voice acting, playing a young Vesemir in Netflix’s “The Witcher: Nightmare of the Wolf” and Rek’yr in “The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance.” He even voiced the terrifying Sentinel-human-hybrid villain Bastion in Season 1 of Disney+’s “X-Men ’97.”

While we await the return of “The Gentlemen,” we’re turning to James for today’s quote of the day.

“Everybody has a bit of body armor they wear to protect themselves, and love is about trying to break it down. You have to see who a person really is and connect with her to break that armor.”

The above quote comes from a 2015 interview with Seventeen when Theo James was promoting “Insurgent,” the second film in the “Divergent” trilogy. Because his character arc as rebel fighter Four involved a relationship with Tris (Shailene Woodley), James was asked about his approach to love and life during the press tour. 

James was able to draw on his experience playing the heartthrob rebel fighter as well as his real-life relationship with fellow actor Ruth Kearney. The couple met when they were both studying at the Bristol Old Vic Theatre School and were married in 2018, just under a decade after first meeting.

Theo James mentions “body armor” as a way to explain how everyone has two versions of themselves. We each cultivate an image to portray to the outside world, but our true self lies deeper within us, emerging most clearly when we’re alone or at ease. That inner version is usually only seen and known by close friends, partners, and family.

Per James, people construct armor around that inner self as a form of protection in the early stages of a relationship. Maintaining that impenetrable defense can manifest in different ways, but it often results in keeping your interests, moods, and feelings to yourself out of fear that another person may not understand them. 

But James notes it’s worthwhile to find out who someone actually is, rather than who they present themselves as upon first meeting — only then can you fall in love. With the privilege of getting to know a person’s inner self comes great responsibility. We must not take our intimate connections for granted, and we should treasure the unique inner workings of those we’re close to.

• “We’re in a world where masculinity, especially with these big spectacle movies, is often pushed by rippling six packs and forcing an image down someone’s throat trying to prove masculinity. Whereas I think true masculinity comes from having a strong sense of self.” — from a 2014 interview with Advocate

• “For better or worse we live in a very exposing [time] where, if you choose to, everyone can see everyone’s business. You see what they’re having for breakfast, where they are, what they’re doing. Whereas I think that classic idea of mystery is very seductive. Not knowing every single thing about a person, what they’re thinking, that’s very powerful. And it would be a shame if we lost that totally.” — from a 2015 interview with Glamour

• “There’s revulsion for the history of one of the largest empires and slavery machines on the planet. And there’s pride in a country I hope can do better in many ways and grow.” — from a 2026 interview with GQ